Post by Bitchee~Witchee on Apr 26, 2011 8:20:20 GMT -7
I've been working on this poem for months and I still don't like it the way it is. It feels like it's missing something to me. Suggestions?
I stared at the gloves he had given me.
A gift that had meant more meaning that any jewelry could have had.
I laid in the garden by the daises we had planted together.
I had hated gardening before I met him.
He left for the war over two years ago.
A stupid pointless war.
Weren’t our pockets already full enough?
Couldn’t we live off of our own riches instead of others?
I felt tears slide down my tanned face.
I picked a single white daisy.
I had down so almost every day since he left.
And just like all those other days I left it on his pillow.
I willed him to come back to me.
But sometimes will alone is not enough.
I grew old and lonely, sick with waiting.
Never even getting to give a proper good-bye.
I stared at the gloves he had given me.
A gift that had meant more meaning that any jewelry could have had.
I laid in the garden by the daises we had planted together.
I had hated gardening before I met him.
He left for the war over two years ago.
A stupid pointless war.
Weren’t our pockets already full enough?
Couldn’t we live off of our own riches instead of others?
I felt tears slide down my tanned face.
I picked a single white daisy.
I had down so almost every day since he left.
And just like all those other days I left it on his pillow.
I willed him to come back to me.
But sometimes will alone is not enough.
I grew old and lonely, sick with waiting.
Never even getting to give a proper good-bye.
